24 February 2011

I'm sure one day...

     I'll look back on these past couple of months and laugh.  At the same time, I'm sure one day, when they have their own families, Princess and The Boy will look back and realize the sacrifices I've made to stay home with them and to home school them.  That day is not today though!  No, I don't regret the choices I've made in the best interest of my kids and my family.  Sometimes I just regret that my skin is not a little bit thicker...

     I understand, on an intellectual level, that moving thousands of miles away from our family, our friends and the only home they've ever known was difficult for them.  I also understand that taking them out of public school and teaching them at home created a gap with their friends.  But I am human.  I may be "just a mother", but I'm not without feelings.  I understand that Princess and The Boy say and do what they say and do because they are comfortable in the knowledge that they are loved by me.  Sometimes I just wish they were a little less sure and held back on some of the really hurtful comments.  Yes, yes.  I know this is part of parenting and that the looming years of puberty will probably pale in comparison, but that doesn't make it any easier.  And quite frankly "an intellectual level" has no place in parenting!  Really! "Intellectual level" and kids?  I must be mad!

     One thing the past few months have made me realize is that I have to honestly apologize to my mother for the hateful comments I can remember hurling at her through the slammed door.  I should also apologize for the hurtful comments I don't remember making, but I'm sure she does.  Mom, I am really, truly sorry.

     Why is it that people view women who have children as "moms", but the human element of the person is some how lost?  It's not like I can bifurcate myself.  I may be a little (?) bit crazy, but I'm not Sybil.  At what point do we as daughters and sons start seeing our parents as humans and not just Mom and Dad?  I'm not sure when it happened for me or if it has completely.  I can't wait for the day Princess and The Boy reach that point.  Until that day, or at least until puberty passes, these tears of a clown will have to suffice.


  1. Oh, Lauren...I wish I was in Oslo so we could chuck everything out the window and go out for a fabulous fish lunch with plenty of vino and do nothing but chat for hours like in Reyk! Thinking of you!!

  2. Your post made my heart ache as it took a long time for me to realize how much I must have hurt my mom at times growing up by the things I said. I wish back then she would have told me that the things I said were hurting her. As a mother myself, my instinct is to want to hide when my son has hurt me, but I have to remember that by showing him when I am hurt, he learns empathy and that shouldn't do/say certain things.

    You and your husband are giving your children the wonderful gift of an amazing global education, and one day they will look at you with tears in THEIR eyes and thank you for the amazing mother you have been.

  3. Wow, no truer words were ever spoken....I don't have much to add other than I remember when you were struggling to decide what to do when Princess and The Boy were wee ones....you've done some great things with the kids since that time....hang in there. You will soon have a memory that will give you tremendous happines and validation that this was the right thing to do for you, the kids and the Geraghtys! Miss you!

  4. You are doing awesome. Home school can take down the best parent some days. I wish I was there too so we could just shoot the breeze and relax for a bit. I am sure they will eventually realize just how much you have done for them. In the interim, please know I'm grateful for the hard work you are doing raising responsible citizens.